I used to think that maybe the women in the 70’s had it all
wrong. That life was easier for a woman
in the 50’s or 60’s because there wasn't the added complications of running the
house, getting the kids taken care of and working a 9 to 5 job. That while we had proven we could think just
as well as a man we had turned the economy into relying on an extra paycheck
and that meant that our children were being raised by others and we had less
impact on the values placed on our children. I hated the rules that now
established any child could point a finger at a parent and that parent would be
rendered ineffective because they knew that some other person, a social worker,
would make the decision on whether that parent was good enough or bad enough to
continue on.
I felt as though children were being raised in a society
that undervalued the parents and that as a parent I had to work harder to prove
myself. And then came the era of being a
“soccer mom” , you know, those mothers who worked full time and then spent
their evenings running around with their kids to girl/boy scouts, soccer,
baseball, piano lessons, dance classes, extra learning centers and in between
all the bull tried to teach their children values and then were feeding them MacDonalds because they had no time to prepare and clean up a family
dinner. I thought that if we went back
to a younger and less influenced society, something less judgmental that it
would be easier to raise children effectually.
Belize is like living in the 40’s or 50’s for women.
Women here stay at home with their children mostly. If they work they are accountants, teachers,
or clerks, not doctors, lawyers, or influential unless they are not “controlled
“by men. By that I mean that once they
are married women usually are controlled.
I have talked to the men here that have the mentality that women are
less than nothing and that nothing a woman has to say is worthwhile. The educational system here is that you are
required to go to school until you are 14, middle school years are enough and
if you want to go farther you have to pay and pay for it. High school is considered extra and so is
University. The mentality of the village
life in Copper Bank is that their way is best and that it has always been this
way and will never be any better. Does
that mean it’s a bad life? I don’t know
enough to sit in judgment of this.
But I am shocked by the behavior of some parents here but
wonder, is it really all that bad? It’s
not uncommon in the village to see a 4 year old minding a 2 year old. The 4 year old is usually walking down the
street with their younger sibling teaching them the ways of the village life
and how to navigate the roads and avoid bad dogs, bad drivers, and mud. It re-enforces the 4 year old and they become
more responsible as far as children go.
Today when Charlie went to pick up Richard, the little boy I've been
taking care of , no one was around so he just took him. When he came back he found out that the 3
year old was taking care of his 9 month old sister who was on a mattress on the
floor in the back room. I thought about
the rules of our society, how we would have called 911 and proceeded with
police and social workers and firemen showing up and telling the mother she was
bad. This woman works hard. They have 9 children all together. She has no electricity so she has to cook
over a fire, she has to chop wood, she has to hand wash clothes every day, she
has to make the meals fresh because there is no way to store food from one day
to the next. They have been raised by
the village and the village mentality is that it’s acceptable to run to the
store and leave your children in the care of children. And there usually isn't any problems going on
with it around here…but then?
The issue that bothers me more so is the lack of
education. I have been taking care of
Richards wound but am afraid to tell her (contrary to Doctors orders as well)
that the wound really needs fresh air.
Their floor is nothing but dirt and the wound is on his heel and even if
he doesn't walk around (he is not supposed to) he will get dirt into it because
there is no true way to prevent it. If
his mother had been educated in the care of the wound I am sure she would do
what is necessary because he is one of her favorites. You can see how much he has entranced me and I
am sure this boy is bright because of the care his mother has given him. But for a “Gringa” to tell them to do
something contrary to the Doctor’s orders is not to be heard…they will do what
the doctor or their granny tells them first….
I think that they would like a better life without the
pressure that most Americans can put on them.
I was talking to a Belizean man about how he had gotten a work visa and
he went to Denver Colorado to work. He
had been hired by a man to work for a year in Colorado and he was sent home
earlier than the Mexican man because he knew English and could understand a bit
of what was going on…at least that is what he told me. He wondered at the people in the states and
why they worked so much..I asked him what he meant and he told me that in the 6
months he had been there he never had a day off. He worked every day and that they would bring
in the meals for them but they had to pay for them and that he wondered why
they worked so hard. I asked him when he was done how much money had he accumulated
in the 6 months. I thought that working
all the time would have acquired quite a bit, he told me $600 Bz….that converts
to $300 US. I asked him if they charged
him room and board and he told me that was why it was only $600 because they
took off for the expense of food and bed.
I thought it must have been some
jerk taking advantage of him and told him so.
His cousin in California wants him to give the States another chance but
he is afraid. He doesn’t want to go and
have to work every day. When I told him
it was wrong he told me it was not a good idea to argue with his boss since his
boss held his visa. Wow…..
Last week I went into Orange Walk and was talking to one of
the shop clerks there. Now, Orange Walk
is a busy suburb in Belize. There are
day trips that come in from the Caye’s so the educational level of the people
in that town is a little higher than in my small village. I was talking to a woman about how I was
trying to re-learn my Spanish and needed to use it as much as possible and she
said to me that she had a hard time learning it as well. I was surprised because I thought most Belizean’s
spoke Spanish to their children and then the child had to learn English in School. She told me no, that she was raised to speak
English and had to learn to speak Spanish in School. She said that kind of life was only in the
Villages and that the people of Belize truly wanted to be more educated and
influenced by other societies. I started
to wonder if they truly did?
What are some of the things you wish you could change about
our society? Have we advanced so far
that we might have lost something along the way?
