Reflections....

I had one of the worst moments ever on the 22nd of December....after being anxious all night and the excitement having built up to a peak I found out that my girls did not get to fly out of Buffalo making the rest of their subsequent travel plans dissolve in a heap.....I was beyond disappointed....I was hugely angry and ready to lash out and pack my bags and go back to the states to give some people a piece of my mind.... Incensed is a good descriptive word.....
I had been living among some of the calmest people I've ever met...I live in a village where the loudest noise you hear is the sound of fire crackers that the kids like to set off.  There is no loud cars rushing by, there are no angry people fighting, there are no loud shouts at each other it is, to say in Spanish, mas traquil..very quiet.   I enjoy this quiet village a lot
At the moment that I found out my kids were not going to make it on their planned departure I started wanting to cry and lash out.   Now there are things in Belize that could potentially drive you bonkers, things beyond your control and your ability to do anything about.  An excellent example would be the ferry from Copper Bank to Chenux was out making getting to Orchid Bay difficult at best.  It would be something that would drive anyone crazy because they would have to deal with the often difficult roads around here and making arrangements to do other things....Because these people here have no alternative other than to deal with life as it is they calmly accept something that as a US Citizen we would find unacceptable and would rant about...these people are stoic and accepting of many things....The States has been a mad house lately with people being so angry,  I can feel it all the way here.....I wonder how some of the people in the states would feel about some of the things we deal with here on a regular basis.....
It has pointed out something very vital to me, that the resiliency of the people here is so vast...their patience seems a humming type of thing, hidden behind their stoic faces but thriving ever so deeply...Their faith that God will find a plan and their dignity in the face of the adversity here is astounding, and a lesson to us all.

I passed out with anxiety and woke up and went onward in a kind of haze until the baptism...The Bishop in his booming voice reminded us that it wasn't Christmas yet...that Advent, the season we are actually in is a time of reflection and allowing God to go into our hearts....deep thinking on my part came up with how I had become "Obsessed" with having the perfect Christmas and hadn't done much reflecting on how God was working in my life...instead of looking at how my girls were safe in a hotel room I had forgotten the reason they were grounded had been unsafe conditions and that wasn't it better that we were safe?  Could I allow their absence to cut into allowing God his time?  Hadn't he already given me so much?
I think about how, as a people, the States have become the "I want it now" society..My wish is no longer I want it now, it's I want it when God deems it and safely....I think about how my daughter is ready to give birth and has been given so much grief about how big the baby is and how they want the baby out now, where is their patience?  Where is their belief that God has a plan and if the baby and the mother are safe then let God work this miracle of creation........
For this Christmas I have determined that it is time to put God in my heart and not let disappointment rule me....Thank you Copper Bank and God for this important lesson to this ole lady!!!